Friday, August 11, 2006

Uisng Design Pattrens in Yor Rails Appslications

Me and my freidn Clegg has been using Raisl to set up our own W.w.Wwe is using my conputer running Unbuntu to be a ecommerce. When we wtriting so much Rubby we Dont Want To Repaet on Ouseleves so we is started to use Design Pattrens in our Rails appslications to abtrcst some of the Heavy Concetps out of our ecommerce.

The bestet one is here for you to use. Be careful as they is a pwerful voodoo for an experienced hacxker.

Design Pattren No 1: The Straws.

Used when we is making a system for trackjing farms aninmals (Moos! Moos!)


Design Pattren No 2: The Spots

We is using this one in detaild work for servers and bug tracking


Design Pattren No. 4: Legacy Paisleys

This one is used for attaching to old 70's systims (like man frames). Inspird by Cleggs's Dads tie collectshun.

Design Pattren No. Six : The Stripes

We has used this for our wok in corporait finance where they is bore as hell but pays well.
It stops theys being frightened by our leet haxckerieness.



Thats is all the Design pattren s for now. I is off to phome my gf again. She still will not talk to me and now she says she is hangin out with the laeder of the Javacs Users Group in our vilage. She says that he has designed some pattrens too and they is all by Italion Desingers. Typical. A Javacs has no tatse, but loadsa money. They is not hacxkers. They is drones.

At least Rubby has the zen of being won with the code.

Upgradeing Rails: Securiety through Obscenity

My hero DDT has shown what a treu Hacxker he is.

No messin' arown - he uses his martian arts to TELL peoples when to upgrade. They is so afrid that they do!

He says

"UPGRADE NOW BITCH! OR ILL RIP YOUR HEART OUT LIKE CHUCK NORUS!"

"And don;t ask why or I WILL be angry..."

I has upgarded already.. but lets me tell you. I was sitting as my conputer sweating and stuff until it was finshed. I is afraid of being hackxer and pwdned as mccuh as anyone, but I is more efraid to fight DDT (and I is GOOD at martian arts and Rubby, let's me tell you)

My friend Clegg hasn' not left his room in too days after he read the Rubby Mailer List and he is hasing some, er, brown trowser poblems.

The Javacs must be cowering in theys Enterprises with feer. I am glad I is on DDT's side.

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Rubysh Coders Vs the Javacs

Me and my friend Clegg has been setting up a Rubby group in our village. We calls oursels the 'Rubysh Coders' as we is well up in Rubby and Agile. WE practoises the martian arts and code at our meetings. Tonight on the way home we was attaccked by the local Javacs Users Group who has been dissing us lots. I kicked serious ass! and also explained that Agile coders is always goin to beat Slow Javacs coders as I kicked ass. We managed to fight off moist of the attackers by threartening them with pcitures of DTT at Rubbyconf and thye ran away.

Unfortuantely we lost a feww good people. One of the crew wqs so traumaticed that he has given up Rubby and is nopw programming LIMP and Hassle. He says now is is fuunctional again.

Oh well, the Rubysh Coders is a tougf bunch but they is like my family since I was dumped.

Programming Rubby: An Introducktion

If you are learning Rubby, I will help. My girlfriend did not undersatnd that The Rubby haxckers stick together. ..(She was very symapthy towards me when I said that my parents was both of them blind and deaf and mute, and they do not move around much. She said' Aww that's terrible' and I said it is really not that suprising since they is dead.) She has dumped me so now I have more time for Rubby.

How to do a methud in Rubby:

A methud is used to add things like so...

def methud(a, b)
return a+b
end

The a and b is called Variors and they hold stuff like small boxes (not made of cardbord but ditigal)

How to do a Block in RUbby:

Blocks
is used to have methuds that are more ficcient...

def methud(a, b)
return a+b
end

def Block(a, b)
return methud(a+b)
end


How to do a Yield

Yields are a ficcient way of using Blocks

def methud(a, b)
return a+b
end

def Block(a, b)
return methud(a+b)
end

def Yield(a,b)
return Block(a+b)
end


Now you knows the Blocks and Yields that makes Rubby so easy-peas. I enjoyed that. Now I has to phome my gf to see if she will talc to me. I am on sKype so it is free and hopefully she is not mad at me not more for being a Rubby haxcker and spenidng all my money on my conputer.

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

The Rubysh Way: A Manufesto

I am calling on the hacxkers on the plaenet! 

Join us and become a ReAL hackxer! Learn Linus and Konsole 
and SwitchTowl. 
Praise be to the DDT! Long live Mathewz and J Frued!

My girlfried dumped me cos she says Rubby is a cult. 
She said "You are a a complete cult" or something like that. 
Now I just has my conputer and Rubby and the Rubby 
communisty to share my life. 
i am going to write a Rails Recipe in her honore.
It will Class.and will use many many blocks and swings. And yields.

I miss her. Rubby is GREAT!