Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Rails: Avoiding Code Flatulentce

It has beene my xeperience that a seasonde Runny haxcker has to watch oot for the others on his taem. Me and Clegg (my freind) is setting up an ecommerce and we is sharing our insidre knowledg for you today:

To avoid constant codefarts (which is hwen you has code that stincs) then you msut use th folowing rules:

  • Do Not Repaet On Youreslf
  • Do Not Repaet On Youreslf
  • Use variors that are shaped like a duck is (when it is typing)
  • Use dynmics intropetacles
  • Be Agile: this means having tow peple using the same keybord and mouse. This if diffict as they is alwasy fights. We use martian arts on each other and the winer gets to type one letter. Good code teks time (and a few blak eyes)
  • use inCro-Magnon and itinerant development processes- this measn hiring cavemen what is homeless and then making thems develope yous web appslications while you do inetrviews on wired.con etce ettc and PROFITT etc
  • use new framewok untilites like switchtowl and starefish (even though n-one know what they is for sure)
  • write all yis tests for yis code first . They is normally multi choiec like "what is the capital of paris?" onlty the code what gets the right answers gets into the projects. All our codes gets 100% in all exams (excepty gym - we is working on ours code s agility afters all!)
That's it. Don;t be like the Javacs. They has so many codefarts (cal;led names like hibriate and srpoinG) that theys coders cubbicles smell like a bunch of rancid of trmaps what has 24 hour convulsive flatelunetce. Ugg. Rubby smells like roses though.


At 6:03 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

It is very good looking by Clegg (your friend) and U2 - but you turn wrong with Agile!

Hour coders is very agile - they get only mobile conputers and an apple to run from the doctor.

You must not give them desktop and windows - then it will slow down derz agile-ablety and derz codings will start to look for sequels in the sever!


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